Struggles, Changes and The Future

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When I began blogging again earlier this year I knew it was going to be difficult. I knew what I wanted to do–share my thoughts and my journeying towards truth. But I also knew I was not going to have it easy, considering all the uncertainties that were in my life at the time. I just never knew it was going to be this difficult. I had not expected it to be so hard.

I started this year full of uncertainties. At the start of the year, I was waiting to be called upon for national service. Like every Nigerian graduate, I was to be posted to a state in the country and assigned a place of primary assignment for the duration of my service year. I didn’t know where that was going to be at the time. All I knew was that my call-up letter was going to come, and that I had little or no control over its content.

After weeks of intense anticipation, my call-up letter was issued and I got posted to Oyo State. But I didn’t stay in Oyo for long. While in camp, I applied for redeployment to Plateau State. I got redeployed to Abuja instead. Abuja came with surprises. I met a Reformed pastor who is currently planting a church in the city, and immediately joined the church. Not long after, I got posted to a (really demanding) home automation company.

In the past eight months, I have been overwhelmed with activities. I have stayed in three cities at different times. At work I have been in nothing less than three roles and two departments. At several moments this year, I operated in what I like to call “automaton mode”, not stopping to think about what my priorities were and what I really wanted to do. I simply accepted whatever came my way. I struggled to study the Bible or pray consistently. I struggled to write. I struggled to read. I would occasionally have bursts of intense activity, but I lacked the consistency I so much desired.

This seeming disorder made me take a break from active social media. I realized that social media helped to sustain the chaos that was in my life. In the past three months, since embarking on a social media hiatus, I have found the time, energy and focus to make necessary adjustments to my life. I have been able to assess what my priorities and my deepest desires really are. For one, I know that I really want to write. I want to blog. And that would mean a fresh resolve to writing regularly.

I need to achieve greater consistency at the things that matter most to me. And I need to learn to let go of the things that don’t. I know myself well, and I know I would probably fail at many of the changes I have decided to make in my life. But I also know that I will grow. And growth is a good thing.

As I prepare for the new year, I hope to be more consistent with blogging. I have ideas and many paths I intend to explore. 2020 will also come with unknowns. I’ll be done with my service year. I’ll be looking for a job (or be retained at my current job). I’ll be working on a change in my career path. And, hopefully, I’ll be writing on this blog regularly. I am excited and can’t wait to see all that the Lord will bring my way.

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